Friday, November 2, 2007

He's The Fucking Shit, Gunbullet

A HORROR MOVIE-A-DAY-A-THON KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY-A-THON

And here it is, the final five of the month.

Saturday, October 27th-Ravenous (1999) Written by Ted Griffin Directed by Antonia Bird
Stars Guy Pearce, Robert Carlyle, Jeffrey Jones, David Arquette

A military captain is transferred to an isolated mountain outpost where a strange traveler with a bizarre appetite arrives.

This is one of the strangest horror movies I've ever seen, partly because it's equal parts horror and equal parts black comedy. Set in the 1800s at a remote military outpost, a recently promoted captain is caught up in a struggle with a newly appointed colonel who has taken Indian legends of the Wendigo (a spiritual force that grants man the strength of the man's flesh he consumes) to heart. The acting is phenomenal (Carlyle as the deranged cannibal Colonel Ives, in particular), the script is great and the soundtrack (composed by Blur singer Damon Albarn) is just so bizarre, quirky and out of place that it works. Overall, a scary fun time that delivers scares as much as laughter. FINAL GRADE: A

Sunday, October 28th
-Feast (2005) Written by Marcus Dunstan & Patrick Melton Directed by John Gulager
Stars Balthazar Getty, Krista Allen, Henry Rollins, Navi Rawat

Patrons of a bar are forced to fight off a group of monsters intent on making the patrons their dinner.

I wasn't sure what to expect from this movie, all I know is that I really wanted to see it for the longest time. It looked intense as fuck and it had Henry Rollins, so I was sold on it. I enjoyed it for the most part, and there were some nifty innovations that I enjoyed (like the self-aware character descriptions throughout the film) and it was paced really well, which always seems to be difficult when a film is set almost exclusively in such a single and isolated location. Enjoyable, but I think this movie would probably rate higher after I give it a repeat viewing. FINAL GRADE: B

Monday, October 29th
-Shaun of the Dead (2004) Written by Simon Pegg & Edgar Wright Directed by Edgar Wright
Stars Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Kate Ashfield

A slacker decides to turn his life around in the midst of a zombie epidemic.

As a horror enthusiast, this is the pinnacle of an homage to the zombie genre. As a passive movie viewer, it's a zombie movie with non-stop laughs. From the nods to Romero's Dead films and the technical aspects (particularly reusing exact shot compositions in pre-zombie/post-zombie London) there is nothing about this movie I don't like. It's obvious that Pegg & Wright, rather than take the slacker way out and just mindlessly throw zombies into the mix, have a profound respect for the source material and truly go out of their way to make sure that the zombies are almost more background than an overpowering plot point amidst this "romantic comedy with zombies." FINAL GRADE: A+

Tuesday, October 30th
-The Tripper (2006) Written by David Arquette & Joe Harris Directed by David Arquette
Stars Thomas Jane, Jaime King, Paul Reubens

A serial killer obsessed with Ronald Reagan kills hippies at a weekend music festival.

Another film that I pretty much knew I wanted to see the minute I saw Thomas Jane and David Arquette talking it up on a press junket for the film. I was excited for the film, but was wary because it seems that a lot of first outings for actors turned writer/director are sometimes run of the mill at best. This was not the case with The Tripper. For Arquette's first feature, it's surprisingly solid and moves along at a pretty good pace and again is another film that offers scares as much as laughs. The two funniest moments come from Reagan hacking hippies to death with an axe during the song "Reagan Youth" and Paul Reubens' character repeatedly saying fuck. Also, Thomas Jane is badass and may be the next Kurt Russell as far as I'm concerned. FINAL GRADE: A+

Wednesday, October 31st
-Slither (2006) Written & Directed by James Gunn
Stars Nathan Fillion, Elizabeth Banks, Gregg Henry, Michael Rooker

An alien worm invades a small town, turning its inhabitants into mindless zombies.

I'm finding more and more these days that I like my horror movies to have a nice comedic counterbalance to them (case in point, the previously mentioned Shaun of the Dead and The Tripper). Made by Troma veteran and former husband of Jenna Fischer, James Gunn, it's clear that this is yet another case of the creative force having a deep respect for the source material that inspires his work. Slither slowly builds towards its extraterrestrial plot point, but once it reaches that point the film doesn't let up until the credits roll. The effects are gory and twisted, and Gregg Henry very nearly steals the film from star Nathan Fillion in a few scenes, but both are hilarious throughout. I highly recommend this one, because if for no other reason than you get to see The Office's Jenna Fischer bust out her acting chops as a receptionist. FINAL GRADE: A+

And thus concludes the month of October's festivities. I'll have a real update that isn't movie reviews shortly.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

It's A Countdown To The End Of The World

A HORROR MOVIE-A-DAY-A-THON KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY-A-THON

Saturday, October 20th-Ghostbusters (1984) Written by Dan Aykroyd & Harold Ramis Directed by Ivan Reitman
Stars Bill Murray, Harold Ramis, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Ernie Hudson, Rick Moranis

When three parapsychology experts are canned, they go into business for themselves as "Ghostbusters."

I have fond memories of this movie from childhood, it was one of my favorites then and today it is still probably in my Top Ten movies of all time list. I enjoyed the hell out of it as a kid, but especially once you're old enough to appreciate all of the nerdy jokes contained within, it's about twenty times better. While Ghostbusters is very much a comedy, there are definitely some pretty terrifying moments (the gargoyle dog things, anyone?) throughout the film. I typically make it a point to watch this movie at least once a month or so, and there are very few movies that I can do that with. Question-Does Ghostbusters stand the test of time? Answer-Yes. FINAL GRADE: A+

Sunday, October 21st
-Ghostbusters II (1989) Written by Dan Aykroyd & Harold Ramis Directed by Ivan Reitman
Stars Bill Murray, Harold Ramis, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Ernie Hudson, Rick Moranis

The out of work Ghostbusters are called into active duty when a river of slime begins causing mysterious spectral disturbances in New York City.

As a general rule of thumb, most horror/sci-fi sequels aren't really that great (with the obvious exception of Aliens and Evil Dead II), but Ghostbusters II, while not surpassing the first film, is definitely still as good as the original. Probably the biggest contribution to this is the fact that the same creative team (Reitman, Ramis and Aykroyd) as the original helmed this project and that the core cast remains the same (even Annie Potts as secretary Janine Melnitz). The script and the jokes are definitely as strong this time around, and the romance between Louis (Moranis) and Janine is pretty entertaining to watch. If all sequels were this solid, I wouldn't be as opposed to them. FINAL GRADE: A-

Monday, October 22nd
-Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) Written & Directed by Tommy Lee Wallace
Stars Tom Atkins, Stacey Nelkin, Dan O' Herlihy

A Halloween mask making company is gonna kill a bunch of kids because of something to do with Stonehenge or some stupid bullshit like that...I don't really care.

The first Halloween by John Carpenter was a groundbreaking horror film that gave us the terrifying horror icon Michael Myers and basically invented the slasher genre. Does this film have anything to do with any of the things mentioned in the previous sentence? With the exception of John Carpenter doing the music and executive producing this piece of shit, the answer is no. Nobody in the film seems to care about anything that's going on, particularly when Tom Atkins' character responds "Who cares?" when the girl he's railing hears someone being killed in the next room. There's nothing redeeming about this film at all, even the moments to laugh at the film are too few and far between to make this a Batman The Movie type of experience. Do yourself a favor and just give this movie a pass. FINAL GRADE: F

Tuesday, October 23rd
-The Crow (1994) Written by David J. Schow & John Shirley Directed by Alex Proyas
Stars Brandon Lee, Ernie Hudson, Michael Wincott

On the anniversary of the murder of him and his fiancee, a rock guitarist comes back to avenge the murders with a mysterious Crow that grants him supernatural powers.

Based on the comic by James O' Barr and Brandon Lee's final film (he was killed during the shooting when a prop gun misfired a lodged round and struck him), I originally saw this film when I was eleven years old and was drawn to the dark tone of it (much like Tim Burton's Batman films from that period of time) and I was a fan of action films with a touch of the supernatural to them. Lee's action sequences are always fun to watch (his only other film I'd seen was Rapid Fire but his martial arts scenes are badass, and one should only hope so since he's, y'know, the son of Bruce Lee). Regardless of the irritating Hot Topic/Goth subculture who hail this film and regularly dress like Brandon Lee's character, The Crow really is a great film and easily worth a viewing if you haven't seen it yet. FINAL GRADE: A

Wednesday, October 24th
-The Faculty (1998) Written by Kevin Williamson Directed by Robert Rodriguez
Stars Josh Hartnett, Elijah Wood, Jordana Brewster, Clea Duvall, Shawn Hatosy

Six students learn that their school faculty have become host to an alien parasite.

Is this the most original sci-fi/horror film? No. In fact, the film even references (repeatedly) its Invasion of the Body Snatchers/Puppetmasters-like plot and there is even a scene where the six main characters perform a test to find out who among them is human and who is alien which is lifted almost straight out of John Carpenter's The Thing. While not reinventing the wheel by any means, it serves its purpose as the 90s update of Invasion of the Body Snatchers (one of my favorite films, by the way) and is entertaining regardless of the over used core story. Like Rodriguez' other entry on my list (From Dusk Till Dawn), I have the same feeling of being let down at the very end of the film for some reason, because it just seems like there should be more to it than there is, but I don't know what it is. FINAL GRADE: B

Thursday, October 25th
-The Rocky Horror Show (2007) Written by Richard O' Brien
Stars a bunch of people from OU I don't know and one kid I went to high school with

A straight laced couple break down outside the bizarre castle of cross-dressing mad scientist Frank-n-Furter.

I've seen the movie version, and for the most part I enjoy it. I think it drags on once it reaches the cabaret floor show portion, but everything up to that is pretty solid. Sarah took me along to see this last Thursday, and I wasn't quite sure what to expect. The performers were very entertaining, but I discovered that my biggest gripe was actually with the audience participation/call-and-response portion of the show. Some of the audience jokes were funny, but mostly they were just annoying (as if I needed another excuse to be irritated with theater people). All in all though, it was a fun experience and if nothing else it was a night out with Sarah so the show wasn't too bad. FINAL GRADE: C+

Friday, October 26th
-John Carpenter's The Thing (1982) Written by Bill Lancaster Directed by John Carpenter
Stars Kurt Russell, Wilford Brimley, Keith David

An assimilating alien organism is let loose upon a group of scientists at an Arctic research station, and they quickly become uncertain of who among them is human and who is the Thing.

Is this my favorite John Carpenter film? Probably. Based on the novella Who Goes There? by John W. Campbell, Jr., Carpenter's film (a remake of the Howard Hawks 1951 joint The Thing From Another World) is a much more visually disturbing film as well as building suspense among the main characters when they each begin to doubt who amongst them is still human. The creature effects are both horrifying and revolting at the same time, and most importantly Kurt Russell is doing what he does best...being a fucking badass motherfucker, and in the end, that's really what every movie needs. FINAL GRADE: A+

Monday, October 22, 2007

My Name Is Codename:Peabrain, My Mission Is Revenge

A HORROR MOVIE A DAY-ATHON KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY-A-THON

Monday, October 15th
-Frailty (2001) Written by Brent Hanley Directed by Bill Paxton
Stars Bill Paxton, Matthew McConaughey, Powers Boothe

A man confesses to an FBI agent the story of his family's mission from God to purge the earth of supposed demons masquerading as human beings.

I remember buying this movie from C&R Entertainment Exchange (God rest its soul) when I had a $5 credit and I couldn't find anything else. It's taken me four months to finally get around to watching it, and I wasn't disappointed. It's Billy Pax's directorial debut, and it's pretty fucking solid for his first time in the directing chair for a feature. The story of a father consumed by a holy quest that from the outside looks like the ravings of a religious nut is greatly told and the plot twists are pretty interesting at the conclusion as well (although I would've liked a bit more closure on one issue). The acting is superb and I love me some Billy Pax! FINAL GRADE: A-

Tuesday, October 16th
-Club Dread (2004) Written by Broken Lizard Directed by Jay Chandrasekhar
Stars Broken Lizard (Jay Chandrasekhar, Kevin Heffernan, Steve Lemme, Paul Soter, Eric Stolhanske), Bill Paxton, Brittany Daniel

A killer is on the loose at Coconut Pete's famed hedonistic resort of Pleasure Island.

Now, there are those who might dispute the legitimacy of this as a horror film because it's from the same guys who gave us Super Troopers and Beerfest. Well, goddammit, this is my show and I say it counts because while it's a comedy it's definitely a slasher film at its heart. As a horror film, it's nothing new but it's a nice backdrop for some great jokes and hilarious scenes (in particular, a Pac-Man sequence where a dude in a pear costume is hunted down and killed in a hedge maze). It also has Bill Paxton at I dare say his funniest as the Jimmy Buffet mock-up, Coconut Pete. All in all, it's also probably my favorite Broken Lizard movie thus far. FINAL GRADE: B+

Wednesday, October 17th
-30 Days of Night (2007) Written by Steve Niles and Stuart Beatty Directed by David Slade
Stars Josh Hartnett, Melissa George, Ben Foster

Vampires stumble onto the town of Barrow, Alaska where night lasts for 30 days and the sun won't come out for a month.

I read the comics immediately when I learned that this movie was coming out and tore through the entire series in roughly two days and was pretty stoked...I was even more stoked when the opportunity to catch an advance screening two days prior to the film's release presented itself. The film was amazing, but the audience apparently thought we were watching Epic Movie or some other laugh-a-thon. Also, the "Oh, shit, don't go into that room" guy was sitting directly behind me. Annoying audience aside, though, the film was pretty tense and surprisingly well paced considering that the comics mainly just deal with the town's remaining few survivors hiding and cowering for all but about the first and last issues and the vampires looked creepy as all fuck. I'll probably try and catch it again without an annoying audience, but regardless, it whipped ass. FINAL GRADE: A-

Thursday, October 18th
-Grindhouse presents Planet Terror (2007) Written & Directed by Robert Rodriguez
Stars Rose McGowan, Freddy Rodriguez, Marley Shelton, Michael Biehn, Jeff Fahey, Bruce Willis

When a biochemical weapon is unleashed on the small town of Texas, an ex-go go dancer and mysterious tow truck driver are the survivors' only hope against an army of mindless, savage zombies.

I love just about everything about this film, and it doesn't hurt that I rock a boner for just about anything Robert Rodriguez does. So imagine my pleasant surprise when he tackles a zombie/horror flick! The dialogue is hilarious, the characters are phenomenal (I'm partial to Rodriguez' El Wray and Biehn's Sheriff Hague) and the action sequences are fun to watch. I enjoyed this portion of Grindhouse significantly more than Tarantino's Death Proof, and I think it has everything to do with the fact that Rodriguez wanted to only pay a slight homage to the genre as opposed to just straight up remaking the genre, and that's why Planet Terror stands a little better on it's own. FINAL GRADE: A+

Friday, October 19th
-Grindhouse presents Death Proof (2007) Written & Directed by Quentin Tarantino
Stars Kurt Russell, Rosario Dawson, Tracie Thoms, Zoe Bell

A murderous psychopath stalks women in his death-proof stunt car.

It took a second viewing of this film outside of the theater for me not to absolutely despise it. The DVD cut, while a little bit longer, is much more bearable when you have the option of stopping the movie and taking a piss break if you want. Kurt Russell is phenomenal and is pretty much the reason I gave this film a second chance this week. I previously talked about Tarantino's screenplay for From Dusk Till Dawn and how it was free of his typical pop culture junkie laden dialogue and that I liked his work a lot when he avoided doing that sort of thing. Death Proof, however, did not get that memo. While I still enjoy the film, I find that my biggest complaint with it is the tangents about car flicks (Vanishing Point) and the entire barroom sequence with the jukebox seemingly filled with nothing but albums from STAX gets a bit entertaining. I get it, Quentin, you like a bunch of obscure shit that most average people today could give a fuck less about! Also, the feet thing...still kinda creepy. Get over it! But those gripes aside, I was able to enjoy the film much more this time around if for no reasons other than 1) Kurt Russell=fucking badass and 2) I could laugh at Tracie Thoms' jokes because I was able to separate her from her involvement in the film version of RENT. FINAL GRADE: B-

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

There's Only One Thing That I Really Need

A HORROR MOVIE-A-DAY-A-THON KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY-A-THON

Tuesday, October 9th-The Evil Dead (1981) Written & Directed by Sam Raimi
Stars Bruce Campbell, Sarah York, Hal Delrich, Ellen Sandweiss, Betsy Baker

A group of college students vacationing in an isolated cabin in the woods read a passage from the Necronomicon Ex Mortis (Book of the Dead) and summon an ancient evil that seeks to consume their mortal souls.

Each installment of the Evil Dead trilogy has served to do something different, I think. The first film is a genuinely terrifying horror experience with just a little bit of comedy thrown in, but overall...man, is the first one creepy. Particularly the fucked up animations during the end sequence that make most Tool videos look normal in comparison. The pacing could be a bit better, but other than a pretty solid horror flick. FINAL GRADE:B

Wednesday, October 10th-Evil Dead II (1987) Written by Sam Raimi & Scott Spiegel, Directed by Sam Raimi
Stars Bruce Campbell, Sarah Berry, Dan Hicks, Kassie Wesley, Denise Bixler

Bruce Campbell returns as Ash in the sequel to the horrifying Evil Dead. Trapped in the woods, Ash must try to survive through the night against a demonic force that has been unwittingly released again.

The sequel is probably my favorite out of the trilogy, primarily because I think it has the right mix of comedy, horror and Ash finally beginning to look like something more of the hero with the well defined chin. The scene in which Ash's hand turns evil and he is forced to fight himself alone is worth the price of admission. Groovy. FINAL GRADE: A

Thursday, October 11th
-Army of Darkness (1992) Written by Sam & Ivan Raimi Directed by Sam Raimi
Stars Bruce Campbell, Embeth Davidtz, Marcus Gilbert

Picking up where Evil Dead II left off, Ash arrives in medieval times where he must quest for the Book of the Dead before an army of Deadites can be unleashed upon the world.

Army really steps the series up in terms of the action and comedy aspect, but the horror seems to take a backseat this time out. Some of Raimi's technical innovations are still present and while the movie might not be as horrifying as the first in the trilogy, it certainly stands on its own as each installment in the trilogy has done. Also, this is where Ash finally becomes a walking catch-phrase factory. FINAL GRADE: B+

Friday, October 12th
-From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) Written by Robert Kurtzman & Quentin Tarantino Directed by Robert Rodriguez
Stars George Clooney, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Keitel, Juliette Lewis

Brothers Seth and Richie Gecko, on the run from the law, kidnap a family and cross the border into Mexico. Upon reaching their destination, a seedy Mexican bar, they quickly learn that the bar's regulars are not what they seem.

Easily one of my favorite horror movies, because if you know nothing about this movie going in then you definitely don't expect it to turn into a vampire movie halfway in. It seems like a typical heist vehicle with an amazing Clooney behind the wheel, and then all of a sudden there are fucking vampires. Unlike Tarantino's other screenplays, there is little in the way of lengthy pop culture diatribes save for brief mentions of The Wild Bunch and Peter Cushing in Hammer horror films, and I don't mind one bit. Probably my only real gripe with the movie is that it's really amazing, right up until about the last five minutes. I don't know what could be different about it to change that, but once the credits start to roll I feel very slightly let down. Either way, still an enjoyable flick. FINAL GRADE: B+

Saturday, October 13th
-28 Days Later (2002) Written by Alex Garland Directed by Danny Boyle
Stars Cillian Murphy, Naomie Harris, Brendan Gleeson, Megan Burns, Christopher Eccleston

A hospitalized man wakes up in England to discover that a violent outbreak of the Rage virus has turned most of the population into violent, zombie-like creatures and left few survivors.

Scariest zombie film ever? If not, it's definitely pretty close to it. While not a standard zombie film per se, it's certainly an important film within the genre, even if its zombies are anything but the standard fare. The social commentary within that has become a staple of any zombie text worth a damn is definitely present, and the zombies themselves are scary as all get out. If you want a movie that'll make you piss your pants, 28 Days Later is your best bet. FINAL GRADE: A+

Sunday, October 14th
-Silver Bullet (1985) Written by Stephen King Directed by Daniel Attias
Stars Corey Haim, Gary Busey, Everett McGill

A small town is terrorized by a series of brutal murders, and a kid in a wheelchair thinks it's a werewolf.

I regrettably admit that I've not seen nearly as many werewolf films as I would like to in my life, and truthfully the only one that I can say I've seen which is worth a damn is An American Werewolf in London. Based on Stephen King's novella, Cycle of the Werewolf, Silver Bullet starts out strong as a horror film with everything done right to build tension and suspense along the way. In particular, the scene where a town mob sets out into the fog covered woods to track the killer is a great scene, and truly one of the better moments in this film. The story gets a bit too "family values" at points, and that detracts from the film overall. There is some very unnecessary and confusing narration from the main character's older sister throughout the film, and it makes me wonder if I'm watching a coming of age film or a fucking movie about killer werewolves on the rampage. The werewolf of the film (the town's priest) is on a mission from God, and uses his judgment as a holy man to determine the victims he will take when the moon is full. I like this plot element A LOT. But then there's more stuff about family and blah blah blah, and it kind of neuters the film a bit in the long run. If this were a forty minute short with the bullshit cut out, it'd be perfect. FINAL GRADE: C

In other news, Sarah (the lady, for those of you who don't know) is amazing and I'm going down to OU for Halloween next week. I'm pretty excited about that. 'Til then, later days Bromfield Faces.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Were Those Zombies That I Saw Over At The Shopping Mall?

Okay, two-fold entry. First the continuation of the Horror Movie-A-Day-A-Thon Keeps The Doctor Away-A-Thon.

Monday, October 8th
-Tremors II:Aftershocks (1996) Written by Brent Maddock & S.S. Wilson, Directed by S.S. Wilson

Stars Fred Ward, Christopher Gartin, Michael Gross and Helen Shaver

Earl Bassett, survivor of the previous Tremors film, is contracted by the Mexican government to kill subterranean worms that have been killing off the workers on one of their oil fields. The job's easy enough, until, as the tagline states, the worms turn!

Now, for some reason I can never remember anything about the first Tremors except that Kevin Bacon was in it. The sequel has always stuck out in my mind for some unexplainable reason, and I know that I've enjoyed it ever since the first time I saw it when I was about sixteen years old. That's saying a lot, particularly considering the sequel was direct-to-video, which usually is code for "This movie sucks. No, seriously. You'll kill yourself if you watch this." With that in mind, Aftershocks is a pretty entertaining hour and a half. It's certainly not reinventing the wheel as far as horror/comedy goes, but I really enjoy the characters (particularly a crotchety Fred Ward as the lead and Michael Gross as a paranoid survivalist nut) and the movie's just long enough so that it doesn't get stagnant or boring. FINAL GRADE: B-

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Now, to change gears. I'll keep this part short and sweet. But ladies, try to contain yourselves and dry your eyes because Dustin Meadows!=No longer on the market. More details next time!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

A Horror Movie-A-Day-A-Thon Keeps The Doctor Away-A-Thon

Well, as you can see from the lengthy title I've decided to start what will become an annual October tradition for me, the Horror Movie-A-Day-A-Thon Keeps The Doctor Away-A-Thon in which I watch one horror movie a day for the entire month of October. I'm a few days behind, but am slowly catching up. Thus far, my viewing schedule has been as follows-

Monday, October 1st-A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984) Written & Directed by Wes Craven
Stars Heather Langenkamp, Johnny Depp, Robert Englund

Nightmare follows a group of teenagers who are being stalked in their sleep by the vengeful spirit of long-dead child murderer Freddy Krueger. Krueger kills the teenagers in their dreams and they die in real life, so to where can they escape? Dun dun dun.

Robert Englund is always memorable as the darkly comedic Freddy Krueger, and while I like later installments in the Nightmare series better, the original is no slacker. FINAL GRADE: B

Tuesday, October 2nd-Gremlins (1984) Written by Chris Columbus, Directed by Joe Dante
Stars Zach Galligan, Phoebe Cates

In Gremlins, Billy is given a Mogwai for Christmas with three rules-Keep them out of the light, never let them near water and never ever feed them after the midnight. When these rules are broken, Gremlins are born from Billy's new pet and wreak havoc across town on Christmas Eve.

This movie has been a favorite of mine since childhood and one of only three movies that ever frightened me as a child (the other two being Jaws and Alien). It's as funny as it is scary, and really well rounded for a comedy/horror film. Big ups. FINAL GRADE: A

Wednesday, October 3rd-Phantoms (1998) Written by Dean Koontz, Directed by Joe Chappelle
Stars Ben Affleck, Rose McGowan, Peter O' Toole, Liev Schreiber and Joanna Going

Small mountain town besieged by an ancient evil from below...or something. It can turn into water, or octopi or...whatever it wants to, I guess.

Yes, the same Phantoms in which Ben Affleck is the bomb in. However, that's about where the good parts of this movie end. It reminded me very much of John Carpenter's The Thing (which I'll talk about later this month) but only in terms of creature design and none of the story elements that made that movie amazing. I really just stopped caring because the plot was so vague and convoluted and at the end I had more questions than answers. FINAL GRADE: C-

Thursday, October 4th-The Frighteners (1996) Written by Fran Walsh & Peter Jackson, Directed by Peter Jackson
Stars Michael J. Fox, Trini Alvarado, Jeffrey Combs, Jake Busey, Chi McBride

Psychic investigator Frank Bannister has the ability to commune with the dead, and with the aid of a few undead associates he scams the small town of Fairwater. But when Death comes to town, Frank's the only one who can put an end to a series of brutal murders.

If you loved the Lord of the Rings trilogy, you have this movie to thank. If you hated it, you have this movie to blame. After ordering 30+ computers for the CG effects in Frighteners, Jackson needed a huge project to justify the money spent on the computers. Frighteners is as scary as it is funny, and nothing about it feels stagnant or cliche. Michael J. Fox is great as the lead and Jeffrey Combs is overly creepy as FBI Agent Milton Dammers. FINAL GRADE: A+

Friday, October 5th
-John Carpenter's The Fog (1980) Written by Debra Hill & John Carpenter, Directed by John Carpenter
Stars Adrienne Barbeau, Jamie Lee Curtis, Janet Leigh, Tom Atkins, Hal Holbrook

On the 100th anniversary of Antonio Bay, a mysterious fog infiltrates the town, bringing with it the ghosts of wronged sailors seeking revenge.

I'm a huge John Carpenter fan, but this is probably one of my least favorite of his pictures solely for the fact that it really only feels like a John Carpenter film for about the first fifteen minutes and the last half hour of the film. Everything in between feels out of place save for one or two moments of horror-filled revelations that advance the story. All in all, a good John Carpenter film but definitely not his best. FINAL GRADE: B-

Saturday, October 6th
-House On Haunted Hill (1999) Written by Dick Beebe, Directed by William Malone
Stars Geoffrey Rush, Famke Janssen, Taye Diggs, Peter Gallagher, Ali Larter, Chris Kattan, Jeffrey Combs

Eccentric millionaire and theme park tycoon (played wonderfully by Rush) offers five strangers $1,000,000 to stay overnight in an asylum with a disturbing history.

A remake of a classic horror film. While the remake certainly doesn't reinvent the wheel, Geoffrey Rush (who bears a striking resemblance to Vincent Price in the film) alone is worth the price of admission and the sequence in the creepy chamber thing with Jeffrey Combs is pretty goddamn intense. Nothing new, but definitely some freaky moments that make it worth checking out. FINAL GRADE: B-

Sunday, October 7th
-The Wicker Man (2006) Written & Directed by Neil LaBute
Stars Nicolas Cage, Ellen Burstyn, Kate Beahan, Leelee Sobieski

A remake of the 1973 cult classic of the same name, Neil LaBute's remake completely misses the fucking point. The basic plot points are the same (man goes to pagan isle in search of a missing girl, is too conservative/close-minded/stuck up his own ass to give the villagers anything but a shitty attitude and ultimately is sacrificed to the Wicker Man to improve their crops when it is revealed that he was baited into coming to Summer Isle in the first place), but that's where it ends. It's basically 100 minutes of Nicky Copes yelling at and hitting women and freaking out and well, just being Nicolas Cage. The most insulting point, however is when the missing girl runs back into the arms of the villagers and each villager decides to, in roundtable discussion, explain the big conspiracy of how and why Cage was lured to the island. So on top of assuming that his viewers don't want to see a good film, LaBute also assumes that everybody watching is completely fucking stupid and can't put two and two together. This anti-climactic exposition is far worse than any I've ever read in Golden/Silver Age comics where the writers never ever leave anything to the reader's imagination.

This is not a movie. This is a crime against humanity. Save yourself two hours and watch the YouTube highlight reel. Seriously. FINAL GRADE: F+

I'm gonna try to break the weeks in half so it's not as much reading and not as much writing, but that's gonna be the format for the rest of the month. Any real updates will be posted as separate blog entries.

These are the films I'm looking at for the rest of the month-
28 Days Later
30 Days of Night
Alien
Aliens
Army of Darkness
Bubba Ho-Tep
The Crow
Darkman
Dawn of the Dead (1978)
Event Horizon
Evil Dead
Evil Dead II
The Faculty
From Dusk 'Til Dawn
Ghostbusters
Halloween (1978)
Night of the Living Dead (1968)
Ravenous
Shaun of the Dead
Slither


If anybody would care to join me for these, let me know and I'll adjust my viewing schedule as needed. I'm also open to suggestions, because I've still got three or four days I need to cover.

Monday, October 1, 2007

There Are No Saints, There Are No Patriots

Last night was the Strike Anywhere show in Columbus, and as always it was an amazing show. It was my first time seeing them with new guitarist Mark Miller and he's an excellent replacement for former guitarist Matt Sherwood.

The opening act was a local C-Bus band called Overated. They were okay and put on a decent show, but I'm worried that once President Bush is out of the White House, they, like many other current politically charged bands, they may not have anything to write about (especially if Hil Rod makes it into the White House and does everything they want). I hope this is not the case, because they were pretty cool dudes (and a dame). Also, for some reason their guitarist/singer decided to announce to the audience that he liked me because I was up front rocking out to their set and that I reminded him of a big, angry looking teddy bear. Side note on their set-Some random dude who apparently knew the band decided to run up onstage during the band's set to their bass player (a girl who is obviously a very forward thinking, feminist type who was wearing a Planned Parenthood shirt) and slapped her on the ass. Way to set gender relations back by about a hundred years, dude.

The next band was Cloak/Dagger. I got really excited because 3/4 of the band looked like the biggest nerds in the world, and for those who don't know, nerds typically play the best punk rock and hardcore music. However, this was not the case. The singer started off doing some Steven Tyler-esque rock god preening during the first few songs, and at one point was holding the mic stand behind his head and shoulders like a weight bar which resulted in a Jesus Christ pose. How utterly droll. Also, the dude doesn't seem to know how to hold a microphone because every time he sang into it the speakers buzzed and my eardrums bled.

Finally, Strike Anywhere took the stage and their set was as follows.

YOU'RE FIRED
SEDITION
INFRARED
LAUGHTER IN A POLICE STATE
LIGHTS GO OUT
HOLLYWOOD CEMETERY
TIMEBOMB GENERATION
WE AMPLIFY/BLAZE
CHALKLINE
EARTHBOUND
ALLIES
TO THE WORLD
PRISONER ECHOES
SUNSET ON 32nd
REFUSAL (encore)

Basically, the only songs they need to play live now are IN THE FINGERNAILS, 'TIL DAYS SHALL BE NO MORE and YOU ARE NOT COLLATERAL DAMAGE and they will have played everything live that I really want to see, barring they decide to do a complete discography show (if only!). As always, an amazing show and still my favorite band.

"There are no saints, there are no patriots, designer gods fulfill their prophecies, but they're not talking to me, how many false enemies will it take 'til we see? Where we fall, where we fight, blackout in the daylight!"

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Yeah, Let Me See The Way You Work It

Man, I suck at keeping this thing updated. Well, there's a lot to catch you nerds up on so here's what's what.

*I'm mobile, bitch. I've had a car now for about a month and it's been pretty amazing having the freedom to go where I want and when I want. I've been growing relatively familiar with the surrounding area in BG and making semi-regular trips to Saver's (an amazing thrift store in the Maumee area), Best Buy/Target/Circuit City out on Airport Road and my new favorite place in the world, JC's Comic Stop in Toledo. It is literally wall to wall comics and memorabilia with just enough space to walk around and explore.
*I've been practicing the drums at least two hours a day and am slowly improving, soon I might even be able to play along to stuff and actually make it through.
*I made Bad Genetics, Bowling Green State University's long-form improv team.
*This past weekend was the 48 Hour Film Project, and my team made a little film entitled [i]Werewolf Doctor:The Quest For Blood[/i]. Go here to see it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60PvGcmMVb4
It's split into two parts, so make sure to check out the second half afterwards. Y'know, for closure.

Next time there'll be a few rants, but for now this is Dustin's World Tour for the following month.

Sunday, September 30th-Strike Anywhere w/ Cloak/Dagger and Overated @ The Basement, Columbus, OH Tix are $10
Thursday, October 11th-Bad Religion w/ The Briggs and The Gallows @ The Agora Ballroom, Cleveland, OH Tix are $22
Sunday, October 21st-Every Time I Die w/ Underoath, Poison The Well and Maylene and the Sons of Disaster @ House of Blues, Cleveland, OH Tix are $18.50
Thursday, October 25th-Say Anything w/ Hellogoodbye @ The Fillmore, Detroit, MI Tix are $20

If anyone's interested in going to any of these shows, let me know. Until next time, nerdlingers.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

So, it's been just over two months since I updated. That's what happens when I resign myself to work even more than usual at summer camp I reckon. If this is any indicator of how busy I was, I bought the new Bad Religion album the Saturday after it came out and didn't get a chance to listen to it in its entirety until about two weeks later...Yeah. I had virtually no online presence once summer camp was in full swing, but time to recap as quick as I can.

*Went in with a girlfriend, came out single the last week (which was weak sauce, but what can you do? Some very good times were had while it lasted, so at least there's that)
*Bought an iPod Nano after two failed attempts with MP3 players. Apparently God favors the side of Apple and it was his way of telling me to buy an iPod.
*Met some cool new cats
*Lots of time logged driving with good buddy/fake brother Ryan as well as smoking only the cheapest expensive cigars
*My good buddy/fake brother Ryan's last year at camp as he departs for three years in the Bahamas, taking only his Fu Manchu and guitar with him and my friend the "other Cory's" last year as well
*Drinking with some friends from work at the Winking Lizard Tavern and terrorizing small children with the shotgun peripheral for the Cabela's Big Game Hunter II arcade game
*Our camp DJ Captain Kirk's last year at camp, and he rewarded me for being a cool dude with a trademark Captain Kirk tye-dye shirt. I hate tye-dye clothing, but the shirt had some sentimental value so if you see me wearing a tye-dye shirt with a heart emblazoned on it, I've not become a dirty, patchouli stank, tree-huggin' hippie, the shirt just means a lot to me.
*Finally got my license

The soundtrack to my summer is as follows-

Honest Goodbye and Requiem For Dissent by Bad Religion
Last Kiss by Pearl Jam
Yer So Bad, Here Comes My Girl and I Need To Know by Tom Petty
You Are Not Collateral Damage by Strike Anywhere
Sellout by Reel Big Fish
Believe It Or Not (Theme from The Greatest American Hero) by Joey Scarbury
Alive With The Glory Of Love and Little Girls by Say Anything
The Way I Are by Timbaland
Thnks Fr Th Mmrs by Fall Out Boy
Cupid's Chokehold by Gym Class Heroes
Ring of Fire and Folsom Prison Blues by Johnny Cash
Soldiers by Ghosts In The Fight
Two Sides and Start Today by Gorilla Biscuits
Misirlou by Dick Dale
Institutionalized by Suicidal Tendencies

Anyhoo, I'm back in BG again and back at the FratCave again for the year. Classes are decent so far, and the practicum I'm in is awesome because I'll have access to video equipment so now I have no excuse not to shoot as much stuff as possible this semester. Tomorrow I go back home to work for the weekend but before will be making a brief stop in Delaware to pick up my BRAND NEW PIMPED THE FUCK OUT 1994 Toyota Camry Coupe.

'Til then, later days Bromfield Faces.

"(Did you laugh?) You know I did
(Did you cry?) Couldn't get it right
(Did you live?) Always on the edge
(Did you lie?) Causing such a fright
(Did you love?) Oh, to be forgiven
(Did you try?) But it wouldn't be right
God, it feels like an honest goodbye"

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

There's A Million Song Lyrics Running Through My Head And I Can't Pick One

So it's been about another month between updates, I know, I know. Deal with it, faithful readers. But a lot has happened, so I'll bore you with the unimportant first, then the semi-important and then some good news for me.

Firstly, if you see one movie this summer about an unplanned pregnancy see Knocked Up. No, wait. see Waitress. Damn it, they're both good. Okay, if you see one movie this summer about an unplanned pregnancy starring that guy from Freaks and Geeks, see Knocked Up. If you see one movie this summer about an unplanned pregnancy starring that guy from Firefly, see Waitress. But personally I think you should see them both. 28 Weeks Later you can give a miss, it's disappointing beyond words almost. If you like movies where any character you can really get behind gets killed off five minutes after the fact then you'll love it, otherwise just don't even bother. Oh, also if you like cop-out endings then 28 Weeks Later is for you. I've also logged in many hours with Lego Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy over the last week and that's been a lot of fun.

In semi-important news, my boss of the past two years is resigning next month. This sucks because as much as he breaks my balls from time to time, we get along and well, we have a rapport because we've been working together for the last two years. So that's kind of the end of an era there. I know I've always talked about how cool it would be to get a full time position here, and there's one open now but I really need to finish school before I even think about something like that and truth be told I don't feel at this point in my life that I'm qualified for the position. I've also been working like a son of a bitch and it seems like a lot of those great plans I had for this summer won't be happening as a result of it, particularly since instead of moving out of my apartment I'll instead be renewing my lease due to some shady business practices of the Greenbriar Rentals company, so the FratCave will ride again, at least for another year.

Over the last few weeks, I've been spending time with a really awesome girl and some good times have been had. I'm not sure exactly what it's shaping into, but I know that at the moment it's really nice and it's a lot of fun, so I'm not as cranky as I usually am lately. There's the boring update, catch you later.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

Wait, I keep a blog? Fuck. I should probably update it.

It's been a couple of weeks (actually dangerously close to a month) since I last updated and that's mainly because until about the last week or two nothing of note has really happened, just the usual slacking and trying to get by. Here's a breakdown of some of the recent things that have transpired in my life over the past couple weeks.

BAND NEWS-My drummer, Steve, got accepted to the Berklee College of Music in Boston, Mass recently and will be leaving for school at the end of the summer. While I'm really happy for Steve, this naturally puts me back to almost Square One band-wise since now I have to find a drummer all over again. We may potentially have one or two more house party shows, but that will be our last hurrah with the current line-up. I've been writing like crazy lately and since none of the other ideas for side bands really came to fruition, I think I'm just gonna use everything I write (be it pop punk, hardcore or metal-esque) for Ghosts In The Fight.

UNRELATED NEWS-Spider-Man was fucking amazing. If you didn't like it, it's highly likely that we probably just shouldn't be friends anymore.

HOUSING NEWS-Brendan's not movin' into the FratCave, so I don't think I"m gonna be able to come up with a roommate for the next term of my FratCave lease. But due to some unfortunate circumstances, there's a possibility that my residence in the FratCave will end at the term of this lease and I will be residing elsewhere in Bowling Green, but I'm still waiting to hear back from a coupla folks on that front so hopefully they'll get on it so I can figure that shit out (as far as how much I need to work and how much I need to be saving). I'm more than willing to take advantage of the opportunity but at the moment it's not in my hands and will more than likely boil down to whether I can get the lease co-signed.

WORK NEWS-I worked like a son of a bitch for the last two weeks and it looks as though my dream of dividing my summer 50/50 between home and BG might be more like 60/40 due to crummy training scheduling. Some days work is easy, but lately I'm finding it harder to mask my contempt for some of my coworkers as well as the politics of the whole thing. It nearly makes me physically ill any time I hear talk of the camp and what we do reduced to profit margins and aesthetics. It's a summer camp, not a boardroom. However, Jim Tressel and a few of the Buckeyes' football players visited the camp this Friday and I was blown away by how well they conducted themselves around the campers and interacted with them, particularly since I was really expecting them to shy away and kind of disregard them. As much as I hate OSU, JT and those two players were stand-up guys and that made me feel a lot better about the whole thing.

MOVIE NEWS-I'm currently doing some pre-writing for a romantic comedy that Steve proposed an idea for, and hopefully I'll start writing it soon. I still need to finish up a few more rewrites on the Experimental Film now that I've figured out a way to shave off a good 7-10 minutes off the runtime and Nick has recently rekindled my interest in Shotgun Samurai and I may potentially shoot one or two shorts back home as well as in BG.

GENERAL NERDERY-I've recently acquired the Mega Man X Collection for my GameCube and just started playing that today. My love for video games is blossoming into an actual past time again and I've spent the last few days playing Mortal Kombat Armageddon, Resident Evil 0, Mega Man X, Super Smash Bros. Melee, Guitar Hero II, Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door and a gem that I wish I'd discovered long ago in the Mario Party series with the bro hams (and a pretty cool new girl). It was almost like freshman year at BG all over again and tonight there was a very near nerd overload when the six of us (myself, Ryan Mags, Erick Cars, Matt, Dave and Niki) simply couldn't get enough of Mario Party 7 (I felt that one of the mini-games in the game was very derivative of Crash Bandicoot and Contra), making nerdy references (primarily Star Wars and various other video games) and they thought it was particularly funny when I cursed the stupid ass board when I didn't have enough coins to purchase the star whenever I got to it. But the following weeks in BG promise to hold more of the same and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Next post I might actually have one of the comic strip ideas I've been working on completed, but only time will tell on that one.

P.S.-I've also decided that nature is not to be trusted, and therefore have declared war against nature and allied myself with science. Deal with it, in science name I pray.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Let Me Take This Awkward Saw

Last night was damn good times (mostly). I've learned the following, however.

*People should not come to my parties looking for drugs. Srsly, wtf?
*Randos are teh suxxorz.
*The only good hippie is a dead hippie.
*Dudes need to not hit on my dude friends unless my dude friends are into dudes.
*Less talk, more rock. Less drinking, more dancing.
*I've recanted my fealty to the King.
*My friends are the shit.

2k7=2 Fast, 2 Furious.

"Heart is on the floor! Why don't you step on it?"

EDIT: No more parties at the FratCave.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

You Got That Attitude

The first part of this past week was not a good time to be Dustin. But come Friday, it was all aces and it was a great day to be Dustin. Things ended up working out and I'm paid up through June and am in no danger of getting evicted any time soon, which is very reassuring. Some people get anxious or frustrated over insignificant type shit, and while I've been guilty of it in the past I try not to as best I can. But my greatest fear is probably not being able to fend for myself, and considering my position a few days ago, I felt more helpless than I ever had and it's the worst feeling in the world. But things worked out in the end, so on to better and brighter things.

Friday I went with Ryan and Theresa to Maumee to see Hot Fuzz and it was pretty fucking good. Later that evening was Prom 2k7 where I proceeded to get too fucked up to dance, so instead I just sang the wrong words to Billy Joel songs and pissed on things.

The Film Fest went pretty well this past weekend, my only regret is that we had so few filmmakers show up to speak for their works that were screened. Our guest, Toledo filmmaker Tom Hofbauer, was an all around great guy and his lecture was really informative. We had some pretty good talks over the course of the weekend, and like I said, just a cool dude.

Also, One Nation Under is dead...We're officially Ghosts In The Fight as of our show last night. We played a house party at Steve 's (Drummer Steve) apartment last night to a packed room and it went pretty good considering I was slightly drunk (although this choad before us did a poetry slam deal and took nearly 20 minutes to fucking soundcheck for a didjeridoo and bongoes). I like to think it was because we kicked ass (but probably because the room was drunk), but an encore was requested and then an encore after the encore which we unfortunately couldn't do due to time constraints. I then cut back to Howard's to hang out with Corey and a couple of his homeboys from Cow-Town who are really cool dudes.

In light of the last couple of days, I realize that I have some of the best friends anyone could really ask for. Also, Brendan may be moving in with me in the fall and if that happens it'll pretty much be the coolest thing ever.

"Don't care what they may say, we got that attitude. Don't care what they may do, we got that attitude. Hey, we got that PMA."

Thursday, April 19, 2007

No Good Goddamn Shitty Ass Bad Fucking Day

My anger regarding the abortion assholes and this V Tech noise notwithstanding, I've seem to hit a constant fueling point for anger and bad news this week.

1. The state decided to take my state tax returns and re-appropriate it to some other fucking debt, so now money I was counting on for my rent and utilities has been swiped right the fuck out from under me.
2. Apparently there was a $700 and $1700 charge made to my bank account, as a result it was overdrafted and my card was deactivated. This, in all likeliness, also means that the remaining $50 I had in there (again, for living expenses) has been stolen.
3. I don't know how the fuck I'm gonna make rent this month now.

There. That's a real problem. Now somebody shoot me in the fucking head.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Yes, There Was A Chick In Black Flag

The past few weeks have kind of blurred into each other, but it's basically been a combination of falling in love with Mega Man again, refamiliarizing myself with how much ass Commando kicks, finally getting to see American Hardcore (or AHxC if you're a trendy fuck), and getting turned on to Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door for my GameCube. I'm glad that my love of video games is slowly being renewed this semester, and I can't wait until I can actually afford to blow the money on a Nintendo Wii and buy all those old games I really want to play (fingers crossed for Dinosaurs For Hire and Rocket Knight Adventures).

In other news that more than three people might actually know what the hell I'm talking about (or care), I've scheduled for next semester and am going to try to do 18 credit hours. I'm currently slated for Astronomy, Biology, History of Film, Craft of Fiction, Senior Seminar and a TV Practicum through the TCOM Department which should be lots of fun.

I also did some video shoots this week for Arts & Sciences Vision for Arts Village feedback sessions, and it's nice to get some experience in. I got to run main camera and operate the video switcher for capturing. I was pretty nervous about both, but I think I did alright. I'm excited for the summer so money won't be as tight and I can work on my tan, some movie projects and other random endeavors. I'm also really looking forward to finally getting to visit Sean and Brendan out at their humble abode in New Jersey. These updates aren't very exciting, I know, but here's some recommended listening that I'm enjoying lately.

Say Anything's ...Is A Real Boy and ...Was A Real Boy
Gorilla Biscuits' Start Today
Dead Milkmen's Now We Are 20
Strike Anywhere's Dead FM
Dethklok's Metalocalypse soundtrack
mc chris' Knowing Is Half The Hassle
Optimus Rhyme's Positronic Pathways
Bad Brains' Bad Brains
Various Artists' No Thanks! The 70's Punk Rebellion

Next week is "Prom" which I'm looking forward to, and the following week is the final FratCave party (of the school year, that is). That's fun because my friends know how to party without being creeps or using roofies and that's a fact I'm very proud of.

This post was brought to you by italics.

Friday, April 13, 2007

I'd Be Chatting On The Interweb

I'll do a real update later, but for now you should know that I am obsessed with Say Anything's latest single, WOW (I Can Get Sexual Too). Enjoy!

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

The Best Laid Plans

You can't put a price tag on my childhood...Wait, yes you can.

After 3:20 today, I'm done with classes for the week so I intend to make the most of my time off which means a possible repeat viewing of TMNT tomorrow, catching up on History of Film work, writing and a whole lot of Mega Man action. The fam's coming up Sunday for Easter and I think my brother Davey's coming up for a few days and I'm very excited about that.

Right now my summer plans are looking something like this-

*working at RU
*postponing Experimental Film and doing more pre-production to start it up again in the fall
*working on some shorts
*hopefully getting something done with the band
*possibly a trip to LA
*definitely a trip to New Jersey

Also, Oven Fresh Pizza (my team's 48 Hour Project) was met with a great reception at the screening and all of the projects were pretty fantastic. This past weekend was good times and it also made me want to start shooting more frequently, so I'm gonna try to put together some short projects to work on so I can bone up on some of the more technical aspects of film making.

In closing, it's time to make the donuts.

Sunday, April 1, 2007

No Juice Left!

48 Hours is over...I can sleep finally...But I probably won't.

In the past week I've become re-acquainted and re-enamored with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles after seeing the movie and it's going to own a good chunk of my disposable income from here on out. College is bad for both my wallet and rekindling my fondness for my childhood.

More importantly, while working on the 48 Hour Project this weekend, for some reason I decided that I missed making mixtapes. Now, typically the point of a mixtape is a means of both 1) turning a person on to new, good music (i.e., the shit you like) and 2) letting a person of the opposite sex know that you liked them enough to hopefully brainwash them into listening to the same crap you do so you wouldn't have to spend chunks of time listening to Nickelback, the Pet Shop Boys, Bananarama or whatever the hell the person you liked was listening to at the time. Now, I've made several mixtapes for members of the opposite sex since high school (only one of those, I recall followed both criteria of a mixtape's purpose, all the others were just because I didn't like having friends who thought the greatest bands in the world were the Yeah Yeah Yeahs or Godsmack).

The problem with doing mixtapes nowadays is that, well...with compact discs and MP3s, nobody really listens to audio cassettes anymore. The last mixtape I made for a girl ended up being a huge waste of my time because the girl didn't own a cassette player so the joke was on me. I also preferred mixtapes because it's more personal than ripping a CD because you actually have to cut the tape in real time and put forth an effort. Unfortunately, I don't have a cassette deck anymore, so it'll probably be some time before I start cutting mixtapes again. But I still love the idea of turning people onto new music and I'd love to get a chance to do it again.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Sit Rep (That's Situation Report For Those Of You What Don't Read Tom Clancy Books)

3/15/07, 1400 Hours. Corporal Noll arrived at the rendezvous point codename "The FratCave." We reviewed our plan of attack and decided to do some research on the enemy's movements by procuring a historical document of their battalion codename "300." However, it turns out our enemy codename "The Spartans" pretty much faded into obscurity in the following centuries of the Battle of Thermopylae...So technically, a victory for our boys! Following the glorious news, we were engaged by the company Crane, Poole & Schmidt (codename "Boston Legal"). Much to my surprise, they were an entertaining unit and as far as this old war dog is concerned a welcome addition to my regiment. Later began "Operation: Make Dinner" which would go down in recorded history as the Battle of Stromboli. Many men lost their lives, but our objective was successfully achieved nonetheless.

3/16/07, 2230 Hours. After a long day of inactivity on the frontline, Corporal Noll and I decided to infiltrate a function codename "Enchantment Under The Sea Dance." The music was loud and the regulars were restless. Throughout the night one of the regulars, codename "Dickless Fuckwit" nearly got to find out what it would've been like to swallow his front teeth. Another suspected hostile turned out to be a false alarm and spent the remainder of the evening wining, dining and engaging in heavy petting with a stuffed amphibian. At one point I was asked to participate in a time travel experiment with two of the female regulars, but their temporal displacement devices seemed to be broken at the time. Nonetheless, we got the intel we needed and made with a hasty retreat not much later.

3/17/07, 0930 Hours. I rose from my barracks to find Corporal Noll already downing the company's alcohol like all the meaning had left the world and the only sense he coud find resided at the bottom of each bottle. Not much later, we were invaded by a sleeper cell of scouts who seemed only to be armed with lights, sounds and camera equipment. I negotiated a treaty as quickly as I could in which Corporal Noll was allowed to retain his viewing schedule of codename "VH1 Classic" so long as the volume was kept to an acceptable low. The sleeper cell extricated within a few hours and all was back to normal, allowing Corporal Noll, Private Cribley and myself to prepare for codename "Operation: Shamrock N' Roll (All Night Long And Party Every Day Tripper Gore Verbinski)."

3/17/07, 1030 Hours. The stage was set, the curtains drawn and the music begun for what might possibly be Corporal Noll and I's last hurrah together. After a brief skirmish with a sickly young enemy soldier regarding "Operation: Remix To Ignition", the battle waged on into the night. We battled for the next three and a half hours against an unseen enemy codename "Sobriety" set to a soundtrack of blistering rock n' roll, sexually inappropriate hip-hop and Irish infused punk rock and emerged victorious on the battlefield. Private First Class Berens and Private Scott managed to keep their cool throughout the battle and helped to run interference on the enemy with a flanking maneuver codename "Fake Irish Dance" to draw the enemy's attention while Corporal Noll and I laid down a heavy supressing fire of Guinness and Jaeger Bombs. When all seemed lost, our ally the regent King Cobra charged forth with his cavalry and exterminated the enemy. An impressive victory for the allies, but many young soldiers lost their lives that fateful night and Staff Sergeant McCoy is still MIA.

3/18/07, 1300 Hours. I slowly drag myself out of the barracks to find Corporal Noll well rested from the previous night's battle and eating lunch. I engage "Operation: Make My Head Not A Splode" and the operation takes the better part of the day to successfully complete. The company of Crane, Pool & Schmidt return however to nurse our wounds with the healing medicine of laughter, much to my delight.

3/19/07, 1230 Hours. Corporal Noll and I extract Private First Class Berens from the rendezvous (codename "Parking Lot Behind The Student Union") and catch up with Staff Sergeant Mattholomew "Mamma Mia" Horn at the local Arby's. On an unrelated note, the army's C-Rations should be replaced with Arby's Melts and Jalapeno Poppers. After a lengthy intellectual discussion regarding the state of affairs within the lives of our friends and several rounds of our ridiculous knowledge of popular culture, First Class Private Berens and I return to our base of operations, codename "The Union," and Corporal Noll rides off for the long journey back to home base. After a brief encounter with Private Pardee, I attend my mandatory briefing sessions codename "Culture & Comics" and "Crime & Deviance in Film." The remainder of the evening goes off without a hitch.

3/20/07, 1400 Hours. Still no sign of Staff Sergeant McCoy. I attend my only mandatory briefing session that day codename "Popular Culture Research" and later an cast by fate into the middle of a godless rabble called the "University Film Organization." It appears to be a group of nerds who like movies and being ridiculous, but I think it may be a front for something far more sinister...Somehow, I've been elected as their second in command...I'll have to play this out and see where it takes me...Something big's on the horizon for them, something codename "48 Hour Film Festival." I can only assume it's meant to indicate a countdown to something...But to what? I hope I can find out before it's too late...

3/21/07, 1230 Hours. After successfully infiltrating a so called "University Film Organization Officer's Meeting," I receive a communique from Command Sergeant Link informing me that he and Master Sergeant Dunaway are on the premises. I excuse myself and rendezvous with them in the BTSU Ballroom on the second floor. There is an operation back home that requires my expertise and they need me there ASAP. As much as I hate to shirk my duty and risk blowing my cover as a college student, I accept the invitation and by 1630 Hours I'm on my way back to base camp in Ashley, OH. I throw myself into the task immediately, and spend the remainder of the day surfing the internet and reviewing historical documents codename "Smallville."

3/22/07, 0730 Hours. An early start to a long day. I spend the better part of it continuing surveillance on the "Smallville Project" and do my best to stay out of sight of the enemy battalion amassed here in great number. They outnumber me a paltry 117 to 1, but they know what they're doing. This could be my final stand.

3/23/07, 0745 Hours. I'm rudely shook from my slumber by an emergency communique received by Sergeant First Class Hudler. A vicious downpour has struck and the water levels are rising quickly. I perform a sweep of the facility and conclude that the stream and lake trails must be closed off immediately...I play along and carry out my marching orders, but those trails were my primary escape routes in the event of an emergency. I'll have to establish another means of extrication, and after my vehicle was mercilessly ensnared by the elements today, my escape may very well have to be on foot. What little backup I had has retreated home for the weekend, beating out the unfavorable weather conditions and leaving me to fend for myself. I'm down to two days and a wake-up, and they assured me that an evac chopper will come for me in two days at precisely 1500 Hours...But they also told me this would be an easy assignment, and everything I've seen is indicative to the contrary. I've got enough food and supplies for another week, but what comes after this battalion marches out of the territory? The next regiment could be twice as many, and they might not be as willing to give up this turf as it is a prime location to establish a base of operations. My mobile base of communications is still holding up, but I don't know for how much longer. Should anyone find this, make sure that my soldiers know I died the death of a soldier, and tell my friends and family that I love them and my only regret is that this war became more important to me than them...I realize the folly of my ways now, and should I escape I intend to spend the rest of my life making up for it. But somebody has to carry on the fight...

Sic vis pacem, para bellum...If you want peace, prepare for war.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

How I Spent My Summer Vacation...Er, Spring Break

Alright fools, here's the rundown...Spring Break I got paid to sit on my duff and play online flash games, watch the Blade trilogy, The Boondocks and Smallville. Nothing exciting happened at all...I think.

So back to school...Um, my grandfather passed away this week, so that kinda sucked. That probably makes it seem like I'm marginalizing that event, but I don't really think a blog's an appropriate place to grieve/mourn and it's not something I intend to bring up in casual conversation, but now people know.

Experimental Film is still underway, but I'm gonna hold off on a Film Festival deadline for it. Instead, I'm going to take the time this project deserves and wrap shooting before the end of the semester and spend the summer editing it (when I have time) and just screen it in the Union next year and enter it to next year's Fillm Festival.

Also, I reneged on my previous statement. I'm going to work at Recreation Unlimited this summer after all for at least five of the seven weeks. I crunched some numbers and I'll be able to meet my financial obligations with no trouble and besides, it sucks trying to lock down a new job anyway.

Dan's here now and it's been pretty good times, and I've got Steve's party tomorrow night and then a spectacular celebration come Saturday at mi casa complete with appearances by several of my hometown Bro Hams...I'm stoked.

Thursday, March 8, 2007

Something In The Way

Day 3. The worst has come to pass. I've doubled back over our tracks at least ten times by now, but every time I follow them back to our entry point all I find is a seemingly bottomless abyss...I know it wasn't there when we inserted the team into the drop point. What should've been a simple extraction turned into a prolonged firefight in mere seconds...The industrial zone we were infiltrating was an ambush. We were engaged immediately by an unknown number of hostiles and less than half the team survived the encounter. Myself, Private Apone, Lieutenant Dobson and Doctor Serra were the only ones who made it out alive. When we reached our target destination, we found the package had been...damaged. The hostages we were sent to retrieve were all dead, had been for some time. As near we could tell, something had caused their chests to explode from the inside, killing them almost instantly. With the exception of the hostiles we encountered earlier, we've seen no signs of life on this miserable rock. I managed to get up close and personal with one of them...They moved like humans, they looked like humans...but they were something else. Now we're stuck with no evac, no comms and we won't be declared MIA for at least five days. We're stuck here, just the four of us...but I don't think we're alone.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Now I Want You To Go Back To Sleep!

The Calm Before The Panamania was anything but. Although I have every reason to believe that I wasn't drunk enough. But I shall rectify that come St. Patty's Day which, once I check up on, may be being hosted at the FratCave.

Wednesday morning begins the first day of shooting for Experimental Film and I'm excited to finally get production underway on this project. I've got roughly five weeks to shoot and edit an hour long film, but I think it's possible seeing as how Marduk's Madness was thirty-five minutes and done in roughly two and a half weeks. We'll also be editing this as we go along so I'm confident we'll complete it in time and if we don't I'll just see about it screening it at the Union and enter it next year.

In band news, there are some rough demos of us up at purevolume.com/onenationunderbg and myspace.com/onenationunderbg. We're currently working on getting a new bass player and hopefully we'll have an album recorded by the end of April.

Since I have to borrow my buddy Tom's drawing table for Experimental Film, I might actually get started on that neglected notion I had of putting together a comic book, but I seriously need to hone my chops as an artist although I'm making some improvement.

I've also all but decided that I'm not working back home at Recreation Unlimited this summer. It makes zero sense to work my butt off when 80% of my earnings are going to pay for someplace that I'm not even using, plus if my plan to teach at BGSU works out, I'm gonna end up living here anyway so what better time to start than now?

Also, Liquid X Records is on my shit list since they decided to not sign my best friend's band at the 11th hour after they jerked them around with showers of praise and flew them to the old people capital of the world for a photo shoot and to cut a single...For shame, Liquid X Records...You may be artist owned and operated, but you're still a buncha jerks!

In closing, I still hate hippies.

"That's what we call this house now I want you to go back to sleep! Go back to sleep, my dear!"

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

No, These Are Not Bionic.

Firstly-I got a lead for Experimental Film! Booyakasha!

Secondly-The movie Ghost Rider sucks...Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, because if they do they're not your friend and clearly want bad things to happen to you.

Thirdly-The movie I did for UFO's 48 Hours Project last semester is finally up. Click this noise to check it out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3mSmrwZkXI

Last night was kind of a depressing moment in UFO, at least for me. We had something like eight or nine people show, counting officers. Our faculty advisor, Daniel (Professor Williams if you're nasty) made his first visit and it was kind of embarrassing to have him show up at a meeting with such low turnout. He stuck around afterwards and Peter, Steve and I talked with him for a good twenty minutes or so. It was nice to vent about my contempt of certain other individuals in the "filmmaking community" and the disgusting amount of apathy in the so-called "student filmmaking community" and actually have an authoritative figure who understood where I was coming from for a change. We're still trying to pull stuff together for the film festival, but hopefully it'll come together somehow.

The following things own me for the rest of the semester-My band, VideoBank, UFO, my friend's projects, Experimental Film and my girlfriend...Actually, strike the last one. That's a lie.

Also, I'm officially getting by on a steady regiment of energy drinks and Marlboro Reds...Life is good.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Grandma, Let Me Help You Out Of The Chair

Day Three-Johnson's team hasn't reported for almost four hours. I fear for the worst. Wierzbowski is adamant that we send out a search party, but for now I'm the next C.O. in the chain of command and I stand by my decision-It's not a good idea to send out a search party for the search party, not in this weather. We have zero visibility and our comms are already twitchy as it currently stands. Besides, SOP states that in this scenario we wait thirty hours before a unit is declared M.I.A. Wierzbowski is insistent that standard operating procedure no longer applies when it's not a standard operation anymore...maybe he's onto something.

BG officially looks less like the ice planet Hoth from Empire, which is a bit of a relief. Hiking to school is not nearly as perilous this week and less peril is always a plus.

In VideoBank news, we shot an interview with my pal Erik in his professional wrestler persona as Hobo Joe. It's quite entertaining, and tomorrow we're going to be shooting some B-roll on and off campus to intercut into the interview. I'm excited to see what else we'll get accomplished with VB this semester.

In Experimental Film news, I still don't have a goddamn lead, and it's quite irritating.

In other other news, I am still the boss, applesauce.

"Grandma, what was it like to be on that holiday site?"

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

And I Thought They Smelled Bad On The Outside

So, this is what's going down. We're currently in Day Two of what I like to call "The Calm Before The Storm." Now, typically, some disaster (natural or otherwise) occurs, potentially closing down some institutions (Bowling Green State University) and making travel difficult. From there, it's a hop, skip and a suspiciously coincidental act that renders all communication impossible, cutting off the peaceful village of Bowling Green from the rest of the world. Enter Phase Two-The invasion. Either by Xenomorphs, Predators or zombies, but by God you better believe there's going to be an invasion. I've strategically outfitted my domicile with weaponry to aid me in the event of such an...event. The FratCave will stand as the last bastion of survival for those in Bowling Green. Once the survivors have been rounded up and made it there, we'll make our glorious last stand before escaping the corporation limit mere moments before it is nuked into oblivion...It's the only way to be sure. Naturally, I'll survive (I have to, I'm the main character in this narrative) and chances are a female will make it out and she'll fall in love with me, and maybe one other survivor to provide us with moments of comic relief to ease the tension that we are the last living people in Wood County, which isn't that big of a deal...Until we find out that this has happened literally all over the world and we may very well be the last of our kind anywhere on this rock! With the aid of love, science and some big fucking guns, we'll take it back! We'll rebuild! We'll repopulate! We'll make it work...this time!

And who says romance is dead? That's my Valentine's Day story. Deal with it.

Now, this is what's really going down. It's V-Day and we just had a snow day yesterday. We also have a snow day today...But I don't have internet or cable at my apartment yet, so I didn't know these things until after I trudged all the way from downtown to the student union. Bowling Green very much resembles the ice planet Hoth in Empire right now. If this continues until tomorrow, though, I'll be pissed because that means Time Warner won't come install my cable or internet and they'll have to reschedule...I've already waited a fucking month! I want my window to the world and I wanted it yesterday!

But I suppose I'll clean the FratCave. Someone should call or brave the storm and hang out there, otherwise cabin fever might settle in and I'll start hallucinating and writing weird blog entries like I did last year when I was snowed in for a week.

Monday, February 5, 2007

Game Over, Man, Game Over!

"I don't know if you're up on current events man, but we just got our asses kicked!"

I love the Alien movies (Alien 3 or Alien Cubed, whichever, not as much, but the rest-so good). As such, I spent the better part of work back home this weekend watching all of them, and it was pretty goddamn sweet.

In other news, One Nation Under had our first practice since we played Howard's back in November last night...We're a bit rough, but we at least remember the songs, so that's a plus. I don't know if a UFO Fund Raiser show is gonna happen this semester or not right now, but we're gonna try to get some shows either way (hopefully with a couple of friend's bands). Once we get back-up vocals down I think we're gonna try to record as well because 1) I'd like to finally get something I've done musically done for an album and 2) I'd like to try to shoot a music video or two this semester for us, and 3) I'd like to be able to contribute one of our songs for the Experimental Film soundtrack.

"I say we grease this ratfuck son of a bitch!"

Experimental Film is slowly coming together. I've got a good portion of the minor roles cast, still need to talk to a few people about it but I'm still trying to find a goddamn lead which is proving to be a bit of a task since the few individuals I'd had in mind for the role are just obscenely busy this semester. So hopefully that'll come together soon.

Also, a couple parties coming up over the next few weeks, I'm pretty excited about it...Oh, and then Valentine's Day, I guess, but...whatev!

"They mostly come at night. Mostly."

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

I Could Buy A Decent Used Car Or An Amazingly Thorough Prostitute

First off, I've just recently discovered this show and it's pretty amazing. FOX has clearly gone retarded for the most part it would seem. How many other networks have cancelled a top rated show (Dark Angel) or "one of the top ten shows of the year" as declared by TIME magazine (Undeclared) prematurely? I was actually sad when the final episode on the last disc ended because I knew the story was over. Also, Seth Rogen is amazing and I wish I'd discovered him sooner than 40 Year Old Virgin and I look forward to Mr. Rogen's next venture.

Secondly, I've discovered one of the greatest bands ever...Arnocorps. They are the world's only action-adventure hardcore rock n' roll band and they have to be seen/heard to be believed.
Thirdly, it's always nice to be reminded that even when things are shitty you've still got some really good friends who'll stick by you through thick and thin. Sometimes all it takes is a little reassurance to not feel like the world done turned and left you or some such noise, and realistically I should be pretty grateful. Let's check the pros and cons.

CON-I got dumped. PRO-This clearly means that I'm not entirely repulsive to the opposite sex and means I just need to play the field and keep my chin up and somethin' will pan out sooner or later. The sun even shines on a dog's ass some days.

CON-Sometimes college seems overwhelming. PRO-College is probably the single most positive few years of my life ever. I've got great friends, great experiences, and, oh, yeah-THE FRATCAVE.

CON-I'm sick. PRO-Eventually I'll get better, at which point I can take over the town with my NERF arsenal and get back to smacking fools just for living.

Don't act like I won't smack the taste out a bitch's mouth just for livin', 'cuz I will. Believe 'dat.

Also, thanks to the kind words regarding what I previously referred to as a "trainwreck." I need to remember that even bad experiences are just that, experiences, and they need to be embraced and learned from...And realistically, it was better than other fare I've seen so I suppose there's that too.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Days of Future Past

"There is something out there waiting for us...and it ain't no man."

Status update-Still a little under the weather, but I'm getting better.

"I ain't got time to bleed."

Tomorrow morning I'm going out in the morning (7 AM...ugh) to help my buddy Ryan do a video shoot in some forest in a town about an hour west of Bowling Green. I got nothing better to do, plus I like helping out with stuff like that when I can.

Mark sent me some old Apostasy (my first "real" band) tracks over the weekend and I gave them a listen. I'd love to write better lyrics for the songs and track them again, because the musicianship on them was pretty amazing but my vocals sucked back then (although there are those who might argue that my vocals still suck).

I'm starting to get a little worried about the state of Experimental Film. Right now it seems like there's pretty much zero interest in it and the only people who are very much about getting it done are myself, Tom (my DP), Erik (a comic goldmine) and Matt (who's helping to score the film) and it's kind of got me doubting whether or not it's gonna happen at all this semester which sucks because I'm really attached to this script and I'd hate for it not to happen. But I'm one more trainwreck (the previous two being My Roommate's A Zombie!!! and Marduk's Madness) from just giving up on filmmaking all together. Only a handful of people out of the dozens who are supposedly "film people" seem to have any interest in actually making anything, everyone else just wants to talk about Oscar nods and what not.

Whatever. It's a bunch of noise that needs to get fucked. I'm out.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

NERF Wars Episode II-Attack of the Foam (Rubber Darts)

Bad news-My immune system has petered out on me temporarily and I ain't feelin' so great.

Good news-I now have the following in my possession.

One (1) Buzzbee Toys Double Shot Blaster






(The darts are loaded into shells, which the gun ejects after firing...How sweet is that?)

One (1) Buzzbee Toys Rapid Fire Rifle






(Same as above, darts in shells, shells eject).

One (1) Buzzbee Toys Mech Tommy 20



















Battery-operated, semi-automatic. Fires off twenty rounds in roughly five seconds if you're quick on the trigger.

Two (2) Nerf N-Strike Maverick revolver pistols.



















This is fun to play Russian Roulette with among friends.

Did I sit in my apartment for an hour today doing nothing but playing with these? Yes.

Now that I've got all this foam dart based ordnance, I kind of want to shoot a series of shorts around them. It could be good fun!

Also, UFO won two awards yesterday for our sweet ass booth at the Get Involved Fair (to which I contributed an embarassing amount of movie memorabilia in the form of action figures and my cardboard Gandalf).

Then I get to go home and work for the weekend...Yay!

Saturday, January 20, 2007

I Thought I Heard Some Noise

Week Two of classes have come and gone and I haven't dropped anything yet...Lookin' good.

I hosted a potluck last night for a very small group of friends because, well, we're classy and adult like that. I successfully made Ranch Chicken and Deviled Eggs without fucking them up too bad and in short a good time was had by all. The next step now is to host an all out, knock down slobberknocker of a party complete with drinking and dancing like it's my job (which I kind of wish it was-set your own hours and I don't know about anyone else, but I find it hard to be anything but incredibly content while dancing and drinking).

Also, I'd like to reiterate my cynicism just a tad. The dating game is fucking bullshit and a total crap shoot. The people you want don't want you and the people who want you you don't want. Does anybody remember that movie My Best Friend's Wedding? I think Julia Roberts might have been onto something (after trying my hand as a hooker in the effort to bed a millionaire and then as a pixie to hook up with someone who never grew up but did but didn't, she was bound to stumble across one good plan in the mix sooner or later). That just makes sense to me, and all that "love" nonsense? Yeah, it holds true for maybe like one out of every ten people. Everybody else is probably just too lazy to keep searching and just take it where they can get it. So that's the plan, I think. Random wedding pact, because let's face it. Too many people my age have already settled down, and frankly I'm too fuckin' old to go looking for love these days. Besides, the ones that I could be potentially interested in would never be interested in me, so basically I'm just cutting out the middle man (or woman, rather).

Okay, on to slightly more positive things. I wrote two songs just because, and now I present them to you for your viewing (dis)pleasure. This first one is only partially complete.

The Guy Behind Me Won't Shut The Fuck Up by Dustin Meadows!

He's got some stupid comment for everything the teacher says
And a voice like a baseball bat to the back of the head
The sound of his own voice, he just can't get enough
But the guy behind me won't shut the fuck up

He thinks he knows just about everything
Butchers the language, but everyone's still listening
He wears that stupid hat, bitchin' 'bout God knows what
But the guy behind me won't shut the fuck up

I'm actually kind of proud of this next one.

Jailbait Baby by Dustin Meadows!

I met her at the all ages show, she told me I was sweet
She's gonna be a doctor someday but she's the only drug I need
And when she smiles my heart skips a beat
This girl she's smarter than me and she's barely seventeen

So what if she's still got a subscription to Tiger Beat?
And the only movies we see have to be PG-13
Yeah, maybe my baby she's not old enough to drive
But 'til then I'll bring the beer and cigarettes tonight

She asked me to be her date so we got a ride with her mom
Nothing wrong with a 21 year old going to the prom
She tells all her friends about me and they think I'm cool
I tell all my friends about her, they say I'm a fool

So what if she still has to use a fake ID?
And we always gotta hang out at the Dairy Queen
Yeah, maybe my baby she's not old enough to vote
But no matter what I'll always hold her close

I just want to hold her, I just want to touch her
I just want to love her but I really wanna fuck her

Five to ten? I'd do it again!

Yeah, maybe the law thinks she's a little bit under (I'd do it again)
But I always say age ain't nothin' but a number (I'd do it again)
She throws her panties on the stage (I'd do it again)
Don't give a fuck if she's underage

So what if she always watches the Disney Channel on TV?
I don't really mind hangin' out at the Dairy Queen
Yeah, maybe my baby she's not old enough to drive
But 'til then I'll bring the beer and cigarettes tonight

I'll bring the beer and cigarettes tonight (3x)

That's all I got, kids. Laters.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Nerf Wars Episode One-The Shotgun Menace

So, my refund check finally went through the other day (yay!) and I got the money ('cuz credit's no good when the Jawas run the shop in your neighborhood).

On the school front I am in the following courses-

(GEOL 104-Earth Environments) This class seems like it will be pretty easy, although we haven't had a lab meeting yet. My lab section is on Monday and since next Monday is MLK Day it means I won't have my first lab for another week and a half...Woot...I think.

(THFM 262-History of Film) I rearranged my schedule a bit, and now I have the later course meeting so I don't have to get up at 8 on Thursday now. I really like Lupro and Hall (the professors), and they seem pretty into the material. Here's a few examples of why Stefan Hall kicks ass-1) He spent the last week of break playing the hell out of Resident Evil 4 and loving every terrifying, beautiful second of it. 2) He showed us Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers' Running Down A Dream video as well as the Smashing Pumpkins' Tonight, Tonight video. While I'm not a huge SP fan, I've always liked this song and the video for it even more so (we watched these as examples of animation for TP&TH and the SP video is an homage to Molies' Trip To The Moon).

(POPC 260-Popular Culture Research) This class is basically working on a huge research project of my choosing for the entire semester...I'm leaning towards doing something on Robert Kirkman's The Walking Dead series about how the horror/zombie genre serves as social commentary. Any thoughts/suggestions on other stuff?

(POPC 350-Crime & Deviance In Film) I have this course with Professor Shoemaker (who taught one of my all-time favorite courses, Sci-Fi/Horror Film). We're watching some pretty cool stuff in the class and we get to do a research paper on a crime film of our choosing (I'm leaning towards Sin City, Snatch or Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels although those could change). Plus, he remembered my name. This is huge because I guess he typically doesn't remember a lot of people easily...He even remembered the exclamation point...That pretty much made my night.

(POPC 470-Comics & Culture) I have Coletta for this course, another of my favorite instructors. The material covered includes Peanuts, Dick Tracy, Batman: The Killing Joke, Superman: Birthright, Sin City:The Hard Goodbye, Blankets, Harvey Pekar's Quitter, Will Eisner's The Spirit and more. We get to do two research papers, one on a comic strip (I'm leaning towards Penny Arcade or The Boondocks) and a comic book (Invincible, The Walking Dead and Marvel's Civil War series are all strong possibilities). The only downside to this class? There's about seven or eight geeks (geekier than me) who like to spout out useless trivia thinking it will impress the instructor. Hey, guess what? I'm pretty sure the secret identity of the Scarlet Spider has nothing whatsoever to do with Charles Schulz.

In other news-I bought a couple of NERF guns the other day, and last night me and Chris' band practice turned into an all-out NERF battle. Are we eight years old? Yes. Fuckin' deal with it, son. I want more so I can run around like a little kid and shoot people with foam darts all the time.

I finished Experimental Film last week. Once I receive a little more feedback, I'm gonna revise it one time and hopefully start pre-pro next week.

That's it for now. Laters.