I Thought I Heard Some Noise

Week Two of classes have come and gone and I haven't dropped anything yet...Lookin' good.

I hosted a potluck last night for a very small group of friends because, well, we're classy and adult like that. I successfully made Ranch Chicken and Deviled Eggs without fucking them up too bad and in short a good time was had by all. The next step now is to host an all out, knock down slobberknocker of a party complete with drinking and dancing like it's my job (which I kind of wish it was-set your own hours and I don't know about anyone else, but I find it hard to be anything but incredibly content while dancing and drinking).

Also, I'd like to reiterate my cynicism just a tad. The dating game is fucking bullshit and a total crap shoot. The people you want don't want you and the people who want you you don't want. Does anybody remember that movie My Best Friend's Wedding? I think Julia Roberts might have been onto something (after trying my hand as a hooker in the effort to bed a millionaire and then as a pixie to hook up with someone who never grew up but did but didn't, she was bound to stumble across one good plan in the mix sooner or later). That just makes sense to me, and all that "love" nonsense? Yeah, it holds true for maybe like one out of every ten people. Everybody else is probably just too lazy to keep searching and just take it where they can get it. So that's the plan, I think. Random wedding pact, because let's face it. Too many people my age have already settled down, and frankly I'm too fuckin' old to go looking for love these days. Besides, the ones that I could be potentially interested in would never be interested in me, so basically I'm just cutting out the middle man (or woman, rather).

Okay, on to slightly more positive things. I wrote two songs just because, and now I present them to you for your viewing (dis)pleasure. This first one is only partially complete.

The Guy Behind Me Won't Shut The Fuck Up by Dustin Meadows!

He's got some stupid comment for everything the teacher says
And a voice like a baseball bat to the back of the head
The sound of his own voice, he just can't get enough
But the guy behind me won't shut the fuck up

He thinks he knows just about everything
Butchers the language, but everyone's still listening
He wears that stupid hat, bitchin' 'bout God knows what
But the guy behind me won't shut the fuck up

I'm actually kind of proud of this next one.

Jailbait Baby by Dustin Meadows!

I met her at the all ages show, she told me I was sweet
She's gonna be a doctor someday but she's the only drug I need
And when she smiles my heart skips a beat
This girl she's smarter than me and she's barely seventeen

So what if she's still got a subscription to Tiger Beat?
And the only movies we see have to be PG-13
Yeah, maybe my baby she's not old enough to drive
But 'til then I'll bring the beer and cigarettes tonight

She asked me to be her date so we got a ride with her mom
Nothing wrong with a 21 year old going to the prom
She tells all her friends about me and they think I'm cool
I tell all my friends about her, they say I'm a fool

So what if she still has to use a fake ID?
And we always gotta hang out at the Dairy Queen
Yeah, maybe my baby she's not old enough to vote
But no matter what I'll always hold her close

I just want to hold her, I just want to touch her
I just want to love her but I really wanna fuck her

Five to ten? I'd do it again!

Yeah, maybe the law thinks she's a little bit under (I'd do it again)
But I always say age ain't nothin' but a number (I'd do it again)
She throws her panties on the stage (I'd do it again)
Don't give a fuck if she's underage

So what if she always watches the Disney Channel on TV?
I don't really mind hangin' out at the Dairy Queen
Yeah, maybe my baby she's not old enough to drive
But 'til then I'll bring the beer and cigarettes tonight

I'll bring the beer and cigarettes tonight (3x)

That's all I got, kids. Laters.